Homecoming
by UndefinedBrothers
Summary: sequel to Big Time Kames Angst
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One – Unhappy Returns

Kendall POV

"_You have to come back," My mother pleaded over the phone, "If not for me, then for your sister. It's been a whole year and you've hardly said to words to her. You've hardly spoken to anyone, including the Mitchells who were very kind in taking you in. You seem ungrateful. I don't like it."_

"_I've just been working really hard," I lied._

"_No," my mother droned, "You've been pouting and feeling sorry for yourself. I understand it's, Kendall, but eventually you will have to face everyone. You can't run away and expect everything to just be fine."_

"_It's been going fine so far," I sneered. I knew that was going to earn me quite a lecture._

"_Damn it," my mother exploded, "I have been quite understanding and lenient but no more! I've allowed you to act like a reckless brat for a whole year, now it's time for a little maturity. You're acting like you're the victim here, not James. God forbid, you should even ask how he's doing! FYI, it's gotten worse and what about Logan? Do you even care about him? He's trying to hold everyone together and I can tell it's beginning to be overwhelming for him. And poor Carlos left right after you, he was so upset. His mother called to tell us he is okay, after two weeks of not having a clue where he was. We were worried sick, but you didn't even bother to ask! I could possibly overlook that, but not giving a damn about your sister, I could smack the crap out of you for that!"_

"_I care about my sister," I yelled back, "I care about everyone. It's just hard for me!"_

"_Hard for you," my mother's temper had reached new heights, "Imagine what poor James is going through! Of course, you don't want to know. And you have yet to ask how Katie is holding up."_

"_You're right," I gave in, "How is Katie? Is she okay?"_

"_You know she's on a successful show now," My mother stated proudly, "It's nominated for an award and everything! You didn't know that. She has been hoping you would call so she could invite you to the ceremony, and I think it would be nice if you came and surprised her by showing up."_

"_It just doesn't feel like the right time," I sighed, "I'm sorry. Maybe in a few months."_

"_The Kendall I remember didn't used to be so selfish," my mother growled, "I know you went through a hard time last year but, damn it, I am your mother and I am ordering you to come back. Tonight."_

"_Fine," I whimpered, "I'll buy my ticket as soon as I hang up." I loved my mother but, damn, she scared me!_

_One hour later, I was on a 747 headed towards Los Angeles._

It had been one year since I last saw the sunrise over sunset. Watching it, I couldn't help but feel like it had lost it's appeal. I no longer found the City of Angels entrancing as I once had. For me, returning felt like a punishment. Would I feel alone, I wondered to myself. Would I recognize anyone? Would anyone even want to talk to me? I am sure that leaving, without saying goodbye, had pissed off everyone but I was in a horrible place when I left. It took most of the past year just to recover. Now I finally felt okay about everything that had happened and I was returning to the place that it all occurred. I had to say, I was scared shitless.

I called a limousine from the airport to take me to the Palmwoods. Thank God my mother saved all those checks from Rocque Records. I don't even feel the need to discuss the ride to the apartment, because it was all a blur. I was so nervous, that I didn't realize I had been at the Palmwoods for five whole minutes. The chauffeur, looking very annoyed, was waiting with the door open. I climbed out and apologized. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my luggage. I saw people stare at me as I made my way to the elevator, and I nodded politely, but didn't talk to anyone. I held my breath as I felt the elevator lurch upwards, and then stop suddenly. The doors opened, and I was in the hallway right outside the door.

I, slowly, made my way down the hall towards 2J. I reached out and knocked three times on the door. I held my breath. Moments later, the door flew open and I was being attacked! My mother, and sister, were hugging and kissing me and were literally dragging me into the apartment. I tipped the driver, and thanked him for carrying my bags. Mom, and Katie, grabbed each of my hands and dragged me to the couch and sat me down. Katie wrapped arms around me and laid against my arm, Mom held onto my hand.

"I've missed you," Katie cried, "I am so happy you came back."

"I missed you too," I smiled, I could feel myself getting emotion. I honestly did miss her.

"Your room is just as you left it," Mother told me. I know she meant it as a comfort, but it had the opposite effect. The same as it was meant James was still there, and I was not sure how to face him.

"Is," I started, but my mother knew what I was going to say.

"Yes, she admitted, "James and his mother live here now, and James is still in your room. Logan has been sleeping in there, and we gave Brooke his room. Of course, neither of them know you are back."

"What," I exploded and jumped off the couch, "How could you not tell them? They're going to flip out! Mom, this is insane. I have to get out of here."

"It's going to be fine," My mother tried to calm me, but I was really freaking out! I knew that James and Logan would not be happy to see me after a whole year! My family was silent as I ran for the door, but before I could open it, someone else did. I held my breath as Logan and James both stepped inside the apartment. Logan's eyes were wide in shock, and James looked confused. I was going to say hello, but James spoke first. I don't think I would ever have been ready for what he said to me.

"Hi," he smiled, "I'm James, and you are?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Retrograde

James POV

"_Are you sure this is safe," my mother asked with a dark look in her eye, "I've always heard such horrible stories about it."_

"_I understand your concerns," Dr Stavos comforted, "But the modern technology actually makes it quite safe."_

"_It seems a bit extreme," Brooke replied, "Is it necessary?"_

"_James' disorder has gone ignored for years," the doctor explained, "With the stress he has been under lately, we can't wait and hope that the medicine works. His first suicide attempt was bad enough, and with the second one...Not to mention the mania."_

"_How does this work," My mother asked, "Is he going to be normal?"_

"_Only time will tell," Stavros admitted, "But it's our only hope right now. Right now, what we need is your consent."_

"_Okay," Brooke sighed, "Where do I sign?"_

I was in treatment for six weeks, before I was deemed okay enough to stop. Following the treatment ending, I was placed on a strict medicine regiment and therapy four times a week. It had been nearly a year since all of this. I was actually doing quite well now, I hadn't felt like dying, or freaking out, right now so I guess that was good. Of course, everything positive has a negative. The treatment I had been referring to was Electroconvulsive Therapy -also known as shock therapy- and the negative was that I had retrograde amnesia. Yup, whole chucks of my memory were just gone. Of course, they were expected to return but nobody knew when or how. I remembered myself, and my mother, but nobody else. For some reason, anyone not related to me or anything to do with friends or my actual life, was blocked out. Everything I just told you, and everything I know now, was told to me by my mother.

Logan helped me into his car, and then got into the driver said. He held my hand tightly and kissed my cheek. I didn't remember anything about him, and yet I knew he was important to me. I just had this feeling in my heart that he was somehow everything to me. Of course, he was the only person I had seen in a year that wasn't my mother but he was still quite wonderful. He drove us both back to the apartment building we had been living at and we held hands as we walked back to the room. He was so sweet.

"Let me get the door for you," he opened it and walked inside. I'm not sure what happened next, but some guy was standing there and he and Logan looked really upset. He didn't look familiar, like Logan or Mrs. Knight, but he looked like he knew Logan. I extended my hand.

"Hi," I smiled, "I'm James, and you are?"

"What," the boy winced, and so I repeated it.

"Kendall," he said suspiciously, "Logan, what is going on here?"

"This is James," Logan smiled stiffly, "James, this is a friend of mine from back home. His name is Kendall. He's actually Mrs. Knight's son."

"Have we met," I asked, "He doesn't look familiar."

"Is this a joke," Kendall smiled awkwardly, "Because it's not funny."

"No," Logan sighed, "James, you have not met Kendall. You were raised in California, we were raised in Minnesota. Sorry, Kendall. James has been having some memory problems."

"He doesn't know who I am," Kendall looked really hurt.

"Logie," I cried and ran to Logan, who put his arms around me, "Who is this guy? He's making me uncomfortable."

"It's fine baby," Logan comforted me like no other, "I'll talk to him."

"Baby," Kendall glared, "You two are dating? What the hell!"

"Does our love bother you," I sneered, finally finding myself, "Are you a homophobe?"

"Not at all," Kendall replied calmly, "It just surprised me. See, the thing is, I didn't know Logan was gay, or whatever. It's cool."

I shrugged, and decided he was okay. I grabbed Logan's hand and lead him upstairs. On top of therapy, and this Kendall guy, I needed some release!

Logan POV

James was kissing me, and pawing me, in a passionate way he had never done before. We had kissed, and made out, but never like this. It was like something had changed inside him and got him all riled up. I didn't want to admit this, but I was pretty sure I knew what it was. See, I've always thought that his love for me was actually misplaced love for Kendall. Because of the ECT, he didn't remember Kendall and so I happened to be the next best thing. Honestly, I loved James so much that I was willing to take second place instead of no place at all.

"Take your clothes off," he ordered and I jumped a little.

"W-What," I stammered, "James, I don't think we should do this."

"Sorry," he paused, "I just got this overwhelming feeling and I can't control it. I know something is missing, Logan. Please, tell me what it is? I know you know."

"I don't" I lied, "If you don't believe me, ask your mother. She will back me up on this. You know everything I know."

"Okay," he sighed, "I just have this feeling like there is something on the edge of my mind. Damn it! Thank God that ECT therapy is over, or I think I'd have a breakdown. Logan, I hate feeling like this."

"Let me get your mother," I said, "Or call Dr. Stavros."

"No," James exploded, "Jesus Christ, can't I just feel something for once? I'm not losing my mind just because I feel an emotion!"

"Calm down," I whispered soothingly, "It's going to be okay. Lets just go downstairs."

"I'm not having a breakdown," James yelled, "I am fine! You know what, you win. I'm going downstairs. Maybe I can find someone who is willing to actually listen to me, and not assume they know what's going on."

He stormed out of the room, and I winced as I heard him stomp down the stairs. I was just trying to be careful. His first suicide attempt was bad, but it was nothing compared to his second one.

"_James," I smiled, "It's okay, you can talk to me."_

"_What is there to say," he droned absently, "He's gone. It's fine. I'll be fine."_

I will never forget what I saw

_He hung so still from the ceiling, an extension cord around his neck. I could see he was still breathing, but it was labored and forced. On a nearby table, I noticed at least ten empty pill bottles, each with different names. His wrists were bleeding. It was the most beautiful mess I had ever seen. I called 911, while simultaneously cutting his cord down. I could have done CPR, but I opted for mouth to mouth. His lips were the sweetest thing I ever tasted and before I knew what I was doing, mouth to mouth involved roaming hands and I started kissing him all over. I barely had time to pull away when the paramedics entered the room._

The memory made me sick to my stomach. The whole situation did. If anyone ever found out what I had done, they would have hated me.

"_I don't know you," James sighed, "I'm so sorry. We've met, though, right?"_

"_Of course," I smiled and took his hand, "You and I have known each other for years."_

"_We're dating," James asked, "We're lovers."_

"_Yes," and I kissed him. For a moment he seemed unsure, but eventually decided I was telling him the truth and began kissing me back. _When his mother, or Kendall's mother asked, I told them James and I started secretly dating before the ECT. They all agreed that I would be good for him.

And that is how I finally got James Diamond. God, I hated myself. When his mother, or Kendall's mother asked, I told them James and I started secretly dating before the ECT. They all agreed that I would be good for him. I had been carrying on this deception for months, and it was going fine...or at least it was until Kendall came back. I laid back on the bed, and stared at the ceiling, with one thought repeating in my mind over and over again.

FUCKKKKKKKKKK


	3. Chapter 3

Carlos POV

I felt the plane slam onto the landing strip with a hard thud, and come to a lurching stop. I was back in Los Angeles.

"_No effing way," I screamed at Kelly, over the phone, "It's been a year, and even that isn't enough to help me get over what happened."_

"_Come on," she pleaded with me "Gustavo and I really want to get you guys back together."_

"_What about Kendall," I asked, "Having 3 out of 4 just doesn't cut it."_

"_I didn't tell you," she winced, "Kendall is back. He just got back last night. He doesn't know I know. Katie called me, and told me he was back, and I know James is having memory issues but-"_

"_What," I cut her off, "What do you mean James is having memory issues?"_

"_He doesn't remember anything," Kelly sighed, "Not you, not me, not Kendall. Nothing. It's because of the ECT."_

"_Ect," I questioned. I had no clue what ECT was._

"_Electroconvulsive Therapy," she explained, "It's shock therapy to help bipolar patients in immediate need of progress. He tried to kill himself again, only this time he put a lot more effort into it. Now, he is done with the therapy, and he seems stable, but he has no recollection of most of his life."_

"_Oh my god," I slumped to the ground and dropped the phone. For a whole year, I had been in New York, partying and pouting about my issues when my best friend was on the other side of the country, getting electrical shocks in his head. What kind of a friend, no, what kind of a person was I? I heard Kelly screaming my name on the phone._

"_Sorry, I dropped the phone."_

"_It's fine," she growled, "Are you coming or not?"_

"_Yes," I told her, "I'll be there."_

_I pack up my clothes, and called a cab. An hour later, I was on a private jet to Los Angeles._

Since coming to Los Angeles, two years ago, and even in New York, I really got into the whole "high life" thing. I liked expensive clothes, fine champagne, and traveling by private jets and limousines. In New York, I had lived in a penthouse on Fifth and partied with all the society elite. It was rare that my picture didn't appear on page six, and the fact that nobody had made contact with me was quite odd. I was sort of famous, on my own.

I stepped into the main part of the airport-i don't know what it's actually called-and the paparazzi was going insane. I had no idea that my social influence had reached so far West...and then I noticed that Justin Bieber was behind me. I continued walking, unnoticed by everyone. Outside the building, some scrawny zit covered idiot was holding a sign that read "Carl Garcy," and the engine of the Limousine sounded like it could explode at any moment. I gave him a look that could melt ice, as taught to me by the amazing Brooke Diamond and he scurried like a field mouse. I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and scrolled through my contacts. I paused when I saw Logans name, and I almost tapped the screen but decided against it. I found Mrs. Knight's number and pushed the dial button.

"Carlos," she answered, unsure, "Is that you?"

"Yes," I replied, "I am back in town, and I was hoping you'd come get me from LAX."

"Of course," she answered and I thought for a moment I heard her tear up. The reassuring sound of her voice kind of made me emotional, as well. Perhaps being back here wouldn't be so bad. It seemed like two hours later, when Mrs. Knight pulled up in a sleek minivan. She opened the door and ran to hug me. It was like reuniting with my mother, and I felt a lot better about everything.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you," she cried, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm okay," I told her reassuringly, "I've actually been really happy but then Kelly called me and told me about James. I couldn't stay away. Then I heard about Kendall being back."

"Yes, he is back."

"You almost don't sound happy about that."

"Of course I am, I was just hoping it would improve things with James, but he actually truly has no idea who Kendall is. I thought for sure he would remember."

"He won't remember me," I asked, "How should I approach him?"

"Just be careful," she informed me, "Don't care him."

I nodded and got into her van. As she drove back I remembered the day I left California. I was more drunk then I had ever been, and I hitch-hiked with some stoner guy.

"_Where ya headed," he asked as he lit another joint, "I can take you wherever you want to go."_

"_I don't give a damn," I slurred, "Just get me the hell away from here."_

"_Hey," he exclaimed, "Aren't you that dude in the band?"_

"_I don't know what you're talking about," I lied, "What band?"_

"_Big Time Rush," he droned, "I love those guys. You're that dude. Carlos."_

"_Yeah," I admitted, "It doesn't matter now, I've quit. The band is over."_

"_Because you love Logan," he laughed, "You and Logan love each other."_

"_No," I snapped, "Now, please shut up. I am very drunk and very pissed. I don't love Logan."_

_We drove in silence for hours, before he stopped in a rest stop. I got out and pissed for what seemed like forever, and got back in his car. The effects of the alcohol had worn off, and I sort of felt unsure. Maybe I should go back, I thought to myself. I knew I was making a terrible mistake. He got in the car and leaned back in his seat._

"_Aren't you going to start the car," I asked, "We need to get moving."_

"_Not quit yet," he groaned and leaned towards me, "You don't love that Logan dude?"_

"_No," I seethed, "I don't want to think about him."_

"_Maybe I can distract you, he whispered, and put his hand on my inner thigh. I felt heat rise in my face, but pulled myself towards him. I know I wasn't ready with Logan, but now that Logan didn't love me I didn't care. He leaned in and kissed me, it tasted of mint and marijuana. I liked the taste, it was comforting. I pulled off his shirt, then mine, and laid on my back. He was on top of me now, and his skin felt warm against mine. He was thin, his chest had a light carpet of hair, and he was beautiful. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Logan, and so I kept them open. He was kissing me all over, and his hands were rubbing my neck and back. I was turned on, but also ashamed. This was not how I pictured my first time, but at this point I didn't give a damn. He sat up, and we removed our jeans. His hard erection sprung to life and I gulped when I saw it's massiveness. Naive as it was, I had never really seen another man naked, and I was nervous. He took my hand, and pulled me close to him. I was __inexperienced, and so he lead me. Electrical bolts of pleasure surged through my groin as his ground his hips into mine and his hard dick was pressed against mine. I moaned, and felt his dick start to throb._

"_You're so hot," he moaned, "Come on, baby, suck me off." I leaned down, and looked up at him. His member was glistening with pre-cum. I was scared, but lowered my mouth onto it anyways. It was an odd taste, but not all-together unpleasant. He groaned with pleasure, and I began working my mouth over his manhood. He pulled me up,and kissed me. I smile, shyly. His hands were all over my tanned body, and my legs were wrapped around him. Before I knew it was happening, he was inside me. A stammered at the pain, and I wanted to stop._

"_Please," I whimpered, "It hurts."_

"_It's gonna be fine," he grunted and began thrusting. It was soft at first, but then he sped up. The pain was finally giving way to unbelievable pleasure. He pulled out, and I laid on my stomach. His car was old, and his front seat was huge, so it wasn't that cramped. He reentered me, and slammed in hard. Gone, was his gentleness. He was an untamed animal, slamming as hard as he could and I fucking loved it. He thrusts were fast, hard, and powerful. It wasn't long until he found my prostate, and his speed increased. I remember it felt so amazing that I was screaming. Without touching myself, I came everywhere. It was on the seat, the floor, the door, my body, and even a little on the door window. I felt his dick begin to throb inside me, and he pulled it out. His hot man juice shot all the way up my back, and I hardened again. I sat up, and looked him in the eyes. He blushed red hot._

"_Now it's your turn," I smiled seductively. He couldn't get a word in, with how fast I moved. He was on his back and I was inside him. I thrusted at speeds I didn't know I was capable of. All he could do was moan, and scream. It felt good, knowing that he was enjoying my sex. As I fuck his brains out, I started stroking his hard dick. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he came quickly. His voice reached an octave that even James couldn't hit. The sight of it was so hot that I shot my load in him. We got out of the car, laughing. Naked, we ran into the rest stop bathrooms and into the showers. It was the first, and only time that I had had sex with someone. I never found out his name, but I'll never forget him._

"Carlos," Mama K's voice called, "We're at the Palmwoods. You fell asleep." I giggled, and got out of the car. Thankfully, the parking lot was empty, because I was sporting a full erection. By the time we reached the actual apartment, it was gone. Mostly because I was overcome with nervousness. It had been a year since I had seen my childhood friends. Would they be different? Would they like me? Could I handle the tension? I was about to find out. Mrs. Knight and I stood outside the apartment, she opened the door. I took a deep breath and walked inside. It still smelled just as I remembered it. On the couch, sat James, Logan, and Kendall. I coughed, they looked and simultaneously stood up. James began walking towards me.

"C-Carlos," he stuttered, "Oh my God, I remember you. Carlos Garcia, we met when I was 6 at Lawrence Country Day."

"James," Logan smiled, "You're starting to remember stuff! We have to call the Doctor."

"Not just yet," James replied suspiciously, "Logan, I remember Carlos and I living in Minnesota. You told me that I grew up in Beverly Hills."

"Yes," I smiled, "That's where we are from.

"You moved," Logan lied to James, "Shortly after Kindegarten, I'm sorry I didn't clarify that."

"Does that mean I know Kendall," James asked.

"No," Logan smiled, "You've never met him." Kendall winced. I felt so bad for him.

"I think maybe I will call the Doctor," James stopped and looked at Logan, who looked at me. There was something odd between them, and I was pretty sure I knew what it was. I wonder how long it took, after Kendall and I left, for those two to hook up. Logan was still looking at me, and it was starting to become awkward. I decided to play it cool, and be nice. For now.

"Hello," I said, "It's been awhile."

"Too long," Logan sighed, "I missed you."

"Did you," I rolled my eyes, "It seems to me, you've been quite busy."

"Are you referring to me," James asked, "He's been helping me with my bipolar disorder, and memory loss. He's like an angel. I love him." James kissed his cheek, and Logan blushed. I felt like I was going to puke, so I changed the subject."

"Kendall," I exclaimed happily, "How are ya, buddy? Still playing hockey?"

"You know it," he laughed, "God, it's so good to see you! Where have you been, man?"

"New York," I answered, "I traveled for a bit, though. But when I heard about James, I had to come back. I feel horrible."

"It's fine," James laughed, "I'm okay, really. I just wish I could remember more stuff. Seeing you triggered something, maybe!"

"Well," I laughed, "Why don't we hang out, and I'll see if I can help more. Maybe I can even move back here full time. I've missed this place."

"Well," Kendall laughed, "It's missed you!"

James looked confused, and Logan whispered something to him. Gosh, he seemed so different from the Logan I remember. This one seemed so..secretive, and manipulative. The way he just openly lied to James was disturbing. I knew I would demand an explanation, later. I didn't want to upset James.

This little reunion was a bit overwhelming, so I stepped out onto the balcony that overlooked the pool. Nothing was really as I remembered it, but I didn't figure it would be. I looked inside, and Kendall was huddled on the couch. James and Logan were gone. I walked back in, and sat next to him.

"He doesn't remember me," Kendall sighed. I felt guilty that he had remembered me.

"It's not personal," I reassured him, "Its just how his illness works."

"Logan told him he doesn't know me," Kendall revealed, "He told him that I was just some stranger. They're a couple now, can you believe it?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "I saw them together the day I left."

"What," Kendall exploded, "You mean that Logan was trying to get with James BEFORE you left? He told me that it happened after James second suicide attempt, and they bonded over ECT."

"Hey," Katie interjected, "Logan told me, mom, and Mrs. Diamond, that he and James fell in love before the shock therapy. James confirmed it, though I don't know how he would even know. James claims he remembers having feelings for Logan, but he tried to kill himself over...never mind. Logan has told two different stories. I just wonder which is true."

"Something seems off," I told them both, "And I want to find out what."

"So do I," Kendall growled. I could tell he was pissed. Logan never used to be a liar, but then again it had been a whole year since I last talked to him. I know people change, but this was insane. It didn't take a genius to see that Logan had an iron grip over James' mind, and controlled him like James' was a toy. It's official, I thought, I am moving back here and I am going to help James remember that he loves Kendall and not Logan. That's when it occurred to me. What if James remembered having feelings for KENDALL, but Logan convinced him he had feelings for him. As much of a jerk as it would make Logan, it made sense. I sat on the couch and stared off into space, determined to resolve the drama in 2J.

_Chapter end_


	4. Chapter 4

Remembering pt. 1 - Chapter Four

_Here we are, once again, in our continuing saga of Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. Four boys from Minnesota...who ultimately pair off for sex. Jk, but this is the next chapter of Homecoming, and warning..there is mentions of sex..and an evil Logan. _

Logan POV

I'm not that bad, really.

So, I seduced Carlos and dumped him for James. So, I manipulated James into thinking he loved me. So, I told James that he had never met Kendall. If you really think about it, those things aren't entirely horrible. I honestly think, even now, that everything I did was for the best. I loved James, what was I supposed to do?

_I sat in my office chair, furiously pumping my fist in my right hand. On the desk, in front of me, sat a picture I took of James laying out at the pool. It was the best picture, because he was all stretched out his back, his legs were spread, and his board shorts had a particularly well defined bulge in them. I could feel myself reaching the height of pleasure when I heard a cough behind me. I quickly covered myself, and turned around. James stood before me, wearing only a pair of 2xist trunks. My dick was throbbing harder than ever. He sauntered towards me. I got nervous, as I was wearing nothing on my lower half. He pushed back my arms, and lifted my shirt._

"_Double digits," he said with eyes wide, "What is it specifically?"_

"_Uh," I could only stutter, "Ten and a half."_

"_Damn," James laughed, "But since you were my first, then I obviously can handle it."_

"_First," I repeated, "Handle it? James, what are you talking about?"_

"_Us," he smiled, "I lost my virginity to you. Right? I must have."_

"_Is that what you think," I asked, "You think we had sex?"_

"Didn't we," he looked confused, "I don't remember, but I have this feeling. You're the only friend I have so it had to have been you."

It didn't take much thinking to know what I was going to do, and that was when I officially crossed the line from wrong to flat out evil. I know, if you review some of my previous activities you wouldn't call them evil, but I had done something that nobody else in our little Palmwoods knew about. After my escapades with James I knew I couldn't lose him. All it took was that bastard Kendall returning, and James would be lost to me forever. I quickly came up with the plan, and it went off without a hitch.

"_I'm here to see Doctor Stavros," I smiled at the nurse._

"_Do you have an appointment," she asked._

"_No," I admitted, "It's about a patient he recently started seeing. James Diamond. I am his brother."_

"_Oh," she squealed, "Of course, I'll go get the doctor." Some people were so stupid. Five minutes later, I was being lead to a private office. It was nicely decorated, a bit extravagant for my taste. Dr. Stavros sat down at his desk, and gestured for me to join him._

"_What can I do for you," he drawled in his thick European accent._

"_You've been treating James for a little over a month," I began, "and you just started the ECT. He seems better already."_

"_Yes," the doctor smiled, "I am not even sure that the ECT is necessary anymore."_

"_No," I stated, "You will continue the ECT until I tell you, and in your therapy sessions I want you to make sure he knows that he is in love with me."_

"_What," he looked horrified, "What the hell is wrong with you? That is highly unethical, and just plain wrong. What kind of monster are you?"_

"_The kind with enough money to settle all your debts," I replied, and I saw his face fall._

"_Fine," he spoke up after several minutes, "I'll do it. You unimaginable bastard. I'll do it." I stood up and left without another word. I'm pretty sure I heard him crying. I don't know._

I sat on my bed, and smiled at the memory. I was willing to do anything for James, and I got him. Now Kendall was back and I knew he would screw it all up. James was mine, and I was going to insure that it stayed that way.

The door opened, James stepped in. He took off his shirt, and smiled. I felt my entire body go stiff with excitement. The good thing about dating James was that he was a raging horn dog. I love it. He laid on his bed and arched his back. I stood up and walked over to his bed. He pulled me on top of him.

"You tease," I smirked.

"You're the one who insists we stay in here," he smiled, "I see no reason to not put all this free time to good use."

"James," I sighed, "As sexy as you are, I am actually quite busy. So, if you could please stop grinding your hips into my dick.."

"Ugh," He groaned and I pushed myself up off him

"Just make sure you stay here," I warned him, "You don't want to go upsetting yourself."

A sad look came over his face, and I felt bad. I never wanted to see James sad, and sometimes I felt that was my only redeeming quality. I grabbed his hand, and placed my lips on it.

"I love you," I offered.

"I love you too," he sighed, "Go on. You said you're busy."

Something was bothering him, and I knew exactly what it was. It was that son of a bitch, Kendall. God, I really hated him! I crossed the room, and left James alone of his bed. At the top of the staircase, I could hear Carlos and Kendall talking.

"_I just wish he would come out of his room," Kendall groaned_

"_Why don't you go in," Carlos suggested, causing me to start shaking with rage, "It's technically your room._

"They keep the door locked," Kendall scoffed, "It's almost like they don't want us to be here."

"_Logan wouldn't do that," Carlos defended me, asshole._

"_I think he would," Kendall quipped in a snotty tone, "I think he is trying to keep me away from James, but it's not going to work! James and I belong together."_

I laughed at Kendall's determination. My plan was set, and in motion. He couldn't stop me now.

Half an hour later, I was in an alley somewhere near Sunset. It was getting dark, and I was kind of nervous. I had never done this before. Of course, the "this" I am referring to is actually buying drugs. It would be really hard to stop me from keeping James all to myself, if you were unconscious. Yes, I was buying date rape drugs from some sketchy back-alley dealer so I could feed them to our valient Knight in Shining Armor. Carlos, being Carlos, would take care of himself. It was mostly Kendall that concerned me.

"You got the money," a heavy set guy with gross looking teeth growled.

"Yes," I replied, "A hundred dollars?"

"Yeah," he mumbled and through a plastic bag at me. It had dozens of little pill capsules in it. As I walked back towards my car, I asked myself how I could be sure that they were just the rohypnol. Then I remembered that I was giving them to Kendall, and I didn't care. For all I knew, it could have been rat poison. I know I sound crazy, but I was desperate. James was already slipping from my grasp, and I had to stop him from leaving me. Speaking of James, I better up his dosage. I began dialing Dr. Stavros as I headed back to my car.

Back at the apartment, things were not going smoothly at all! James, bored by the confines of his room, got up and went downstairs where Kendall was playing guitar. Kendall saw him, and smiled. James sat down, and began singing along to the song Kendall was playing. I opened the door to them basically putting on a full musical. I rolled my eyes, and ignored them. Actually, I was glad that James was distracting Kendall. He and Carlos shared a room, but Carlos was on the phone on the balcony. I opened the door, and saw Kendall's green waterbottle on his nightstand. I picked it up and shook it. It was halfway full. I unscrewed the lid and pulled apart some of the pills. I emptied the white powder into the water and swirled it around.

"You're in for a nasty surprise," I laughed and left the room. I, of course, bumped into Carlos, who looked quite suspicious of me

"What were you doing in there," he inquired.

"Looking for you," I lied, "Can we talk?"

"Yeah," he softened, "I would love that. Lets go out to the balcony."

It was then that I decided I would manipulate Carlos, as well as James. This was going to be quite fun.

_Chapter end.._

_This was more a filler chapter then anything. I mostly wanted to add some back story so this story made more sense in later chapters..so..sorry if it sucks!_


	5. Chapter 5

Remembering Pt. 2 aka Not Remembering – Chapter 5

_This is the sequel to chapter 4. I decided to make it a two-parter because it's now James' POV_

_  
James POV

My memory was gone, for now, but that didn't make me stupid. Logan was keeping things from me, and I wanted to know what. How could I remember Carlos, but nobody else? Why does everyone know each other, but I don't know Kendall. What the hell is going on? I know Logan loves me, but this is starting to become overwhelming again.

From the bedroom, I could hear guitar playing and I was surprised to find that I knew the song. I know Logan didn't want me leaving the room, but he wasn't my dad! I got up and walked to the balcony that overlooked the living room. I saw Kendall laying on the couch, with his guitar. I walked down the stairs and sat next to him

"Sorry," he blushed(wtf blush?), "Was I disturbing you?"

"No," I blurted like an idiot, "Please, continue you. I feel like I remember the lyrics."

"Oh," Kendall exclaimed, "That's great." He started playing and I started singing along.

"_The world stops when I put my arms around you, around you. Oh oh. Nothing even matters. Nothing even matters"_

I gasped, and Kendall looked concerned. He rushed to my side, and I pushed him away. I couldn't tell him about it. At that moment, Logan walked in. He looked at me, rolled his eyes, and went up the stairs. I looked at Kendall, who seemed more worried then ever. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and I ran out of the apartment. I didn't feel like waiting for the elevator, so I took the stairs. It was more private, and I liked the exercise. I didn't know where to go, I just had to be away from everyone. I started walking along a dimly lit hallway until I happened upon a single door. I opened it, and inside appear to be a lounge area, though I don't think it had been used for quite some time. I was so excited about my find that I almost forgot why I had become so upset in 2J.

"I thought I might find you here," the male voice made me jump. I turned to find Kendall Knight smiling at me. His dimples and sparkling green eyes made me feel so uncomfortable. "What happened?"

"I knew you," I wheezed, "I knew you before I tried to kill myself, didn't I?"

"Did you remember something," he asked, "We need to tell your mother."

"No," I admitted sadly, "I just got this overwhelming feeling of familiarity when we were singing before. Kendall, do I know you? Please tell me the truth, I feel like I know you. I feel all these feelings, but I don't know what any of them mean. Mostly, I am starting to feel like Logan is lying to me. Is he?"

"James," Kendall begged, "It's not up to me to decide what you can or can't know. When I heard about your suicide attempt, it was really scary."

"Do I know you," I half growled, "Just fucking tell me!"

"No," Kendall finally said, "We didn't mean until two days ago." I felt my knees turn to jelly, and I slumped to the ground. He ran to catch me, and it was the best feeling in the world. I felt guilty because I was supposed to be in love with Logan. I began sobbing, in Kendall's arms. I knew I had to look really stupid. He put his hand in my chin, and tilted it upward. I pulled myself out of his grip.

"Forgive me," I smiled, my veneer returning, "It was unbecoming of me"

"James," Kendall sighed.

"I know," I smiled sadly.

"Do you want to go to Pinkberry," Kendall sputtered out so quickly I almost didn't hear him. I know I should have said no, and not give into temptation, but I was hungry...so I said yes.

Okay, so Pinkberry was quickly forgotten when I saw an advertisement for the Santa Monica pier. The problem was that neither of us had a car, so we took a taxi to some car rental place in Beverly Hills and ended up with a badass '59 DeVille! It was the sexiest car ever. So, half an hour later I was in the passenger seat, and Kendall was obviously driving along the Pacific Coast Highway, with the top down. We were listening to some oldies channel, singing along to every song we knew the words to. The wind felt so liberating, and cool, and as far as I knew, it was the happiest time in my entire life. I couldn't remember anything, so this was it. For once, my euphoria wasn't unhealthy or because I was bipolar, it was real. I looked over at Kendall, who was singing loudly. His blonde hair was flying behind him, and his green eyes was sparkling like emeralds. It was simply the most beautiful thing in the entire world. He looked over at me, and I looked away quickly. There was no way he didn't notice the blush that had come over my face. I felt something graze my hand, and jumped. I looked down and saw his hand, extended. I took him, and he raised my hand to his lips. I smiled, and started singing obnoxiously.

The sun had begun to set by the time we actually got to the pier. We walked along the beach, holding hands, discussing our lives, and various opinions. I'm not sure if it was nice, because it was normal, or if it was because it wasn't Logan, but I loved it. My adoration of Kendall increased with each passing moment and, if I wasn't dating Logan, I would have kissed him. He had to be gay, right? I mean, he was holding my hand. Oh my God, I thought to myself, I'm being an idiot. Why don't I just ask him?

"Are you gay," I asked bluntly. He quickly retracted his hand, and looked away, I felt bad.

"No," he grimmaced, "I'm sorry if you got that idea."

"I was just asking," I replied, "I didn't mean anything by it."

"We should probably get you back," He cut me off, "Everyone will be wondering where we went." We walked back to the car, and the trip back to Hollywood was silent. We returned the car, and he called a taxi. When it arrived, I got in but he didn't.

"Aren't you coming," I asked in a clipped tone, I was annoyed at his behavior. It was just a fucking question.

"No," he snipped back, "I'm walking." and that was the end of it. He was not at the apartment, when I returned, but a furious Logan was. He sat, cross-legged, on the couch with a furious glare on his face. I don't think I had ever seen him like that.

"Did you have a fun little trip," he spat furiously, "Have a good time, cheating on me?"

"Logan," I tried to explain but he jumped off the couch, like a demon, and grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to the ground.

"Don't," he seethed, "You're sleeping with him, aren't you?"

"No," I cried, he was terrifying me, "Logan, please let me go."

"Why," he pulled harder, but spoke in a calm voice, "Why shouldn't I hurt you, the way you're hurting me?" That's when he delivered a full, hard slap across my face and stung so hard my eyes watered. A look of horror washed over Logans face, and he quickly let me go.

"Oh my god," he exclaimed, "James, I am so sorry. I lost control. I'm not like that."

"It's okay," I smiled, "I deserved it. You were just worried." He put his arm around me, and I flinched.

"I really was," he smiled back, "My actions were inexcusable. Please, tell me you forgive me."

"Of course I do," I stammered, still scared for my life. He walked me upstairs, and into our bedroom. He pulled off my shirt, and my pants, and held my hand as I climbed into bed. I expected him to join me, but he crossed the room and shut the door. I heard a clicking noise, and knew that he had locked me in. I laid there for, what seemed like hours, trying to sleep but all I could think about was how my life was starting to unravel. I, supposedly, had been making so much progress but I could feel it coming undone. I was starting to feel like a prisoner in my own life. My boyfriend locked me in my own bedroom, and wouldn't let me do anything without his approval. My only friend now hated me. I was alone.

I sat up, and pulled my legs over the edge of the bed. I stood up and walked into the bathroom. I flipped the light switch on. The stark white was a bit harsh for my eyes, but they adjusted. I knelt down, and pulled open a little panel off the cabinet. It was like my own secret stash. At the front of the pile was a cold, metal, knife. I pulled the blade from the sheath and placed it against my arm.

"To be or not to be," I quoted in a dramatic voice, "That is the question."

_CHAPPPTERRRR END._


	6. Chapter 6

Revealing – Chapter 6

I opened the door, and stepped into the darkness. I tried to turn it on, but the light switch wouldn't work. A sense of imminent danger overwhelmed me, but I walked in anyways. I heard a crunch beneath my feet, and gasped loudly. It was broken glass from light bulbs. This was really not good. I continued walking, cautiously. In my mind, I was praying the Hail Mary, over and over again. I finally found the living room, and felt a little more safe. Honestly, I felt a fool for how terrified I had been. What possibly could there have been that would have been that horrible?

"Hello Kendall," a voice called from the dark and I jumped half a mile.

"Who's there," I asked in a high pitched voice. I heard the sound of a chain being pulled, and a small desk light came on. It didn't add much light to the room, but I could finally see the person who had scared me half to death. It was Logan. He stood up, and gestured for me to sit. I did. He clapped, and the rest of the lights came on.

"You had James out awfully late tonight," he smirked, "I had to ground him for breaking the rules."

"Ground him," I repeated confusedly, "What do you mean by that?"

"Just what I said," he replied, and held up a silver key.

"You locked him his bedroom," I winced, "What the fuck is the matter with you? Why are you like this?"

"If you want to place blame," he spat furiously, "Just look in the God damn mirror. You pushed me to this with all of your interferring, and your showing up here unannounced. Now you're trying to steal my boyfriend."

"I'm not trying to steal anyone," I replied just as nastily, "You're just paranoid, and acting like a psycho. You can't fucking lock James in the bedroom. Tomorrow, I'm telling my mother, and his, about this and I might just tell James that, not only does he know me, we both used to love each other and I bet we still do."

"Oh you're not going to say anything," Logan cried and was about half an inch from my face, "See, if you decide to open your big mouth, I might just have to pay a visit to Katie. She's such a sweet, frail, little girl. So young, and innocent."

"Are you threatening my sister," I stammered in disbelief, "The same girl who used to consider you a big brother?"

"You bet I am," he smirked, "If you say one word to anyone, about anything, I'll kill her. Don't test me, because at this point I think we both know I could do it. Without James, I have nothing to lose. So, keep your lips closed."

He kissed me on the lips, and I felt sick. Without so much as a backward glance, he walked away. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I wanted to help James but not at the risk of my sister's life.

I walked upstairs to the room I shared with Carlos. He wasn 't there, which was okay because I wanted to be alone. Logan had become someone I didn't recognize, someone I hated! He was a vile monster, and he had to be stopped. First thing was first, I had to get Katie out of the way. Then, I had to make Logan think that he had won.

The door opened, and Carlos walked in. He grabbed my water bottle off the table my bed, and chugged its contents.

"Sorry man," he explained, "I was out for a jog. I just had a great talk with Logan. Man, I'm tired."

He went to sleep, and before I knew it, I had too.

The next morning, I woke up with a solid plan for as to what I was going to do about Logan. I sat up, and looked over at Carlos, who was still sound asleep. I got up and walked over to him.

"Carlitos," I shook him, but he didn't move. I shook him a few more times, but still nothing. I pushed him, and that's when I realized he wasn't waking up. I ran out of the room.

"Mom," I screamed, "Carlos isn't waking up! Call 911!"

We were in the waiting room for at least five hours, before the doctor spoke to us. He only could say they were waiting for test results. Carlos was so happy last night, I couldn't imagine what could have happened between now and then. I just prayed to God that it was nothing serious. I couldn't take it if something happened to another one of my friends.

"Is he okay," I heard my mother ask, and I looked up. The doctor was standing there with Carlos' chart in his hands.

"Yes," the doctor replied finally, "His toxicology report showed high levels of rohypnol, does anyone know anything about that?"

"No," I responded, "What is it?"

"It's commonly used as a date rape drug." the doctor revealed, "He'll be fine, but that was a bit suspicious. Anything we ought to know?"

I didn't hear him, I was lost in thought...

"_I was out for a jog. I just had a great talk with Logan. Man, I'm tired."_

Carlos words played in my mind, over and over, until slowly they reduced to one word. Logan. Of course! Carlos drank from MY water bottle. Maybe Logan had meant for me to be drugged, not Carlos. I used to not think Logan capable of something so heinous, but after he threatened my sister, I knew he was capable of anything. All I needed was proof. He had gone too far this time, and I had to stop him before anyone else got hurt.

"Mom," I spoke up, "I think I should tell the boys about this." She agreed and I was off to Palmwoods.

Fifteen minutes later, I was opening the front door to 2J. Logan was sitting on the couch, alone, and when he saw me, he stood up. I walked towards him.

"What do you want," he sneered, "I'm not in the mood for round 2."

"I just thought I would tell you that Carlos is in the hospital," I quipped bluntly.

"Yeah," he rolled his eyes, "As if I would fall for that. Clearly, you want another shot with James."

"This has nothing to do with James," I screamed, "Carlos is your friend, Logan! He wouldn't wake up this morning, and I called 911. I thought you and James would both like to know."

"You're not just trying to be alone with James," Logan asked suspiciously.

"No," I smirked, "Take him with you if you don't believe me. Keep an eye on him."

"I think I will," Logan responded as though he had won. He went off to retrieve James. That was so easy. I sat on the couch and waited for them to leave. Five minutes later I was rummaging though Logan's things. Their room was nearly spotless, and so it made my task all that much more difficult. If his room was clean, perhaps there was nothing there. I opened the closet door, and pushed some boxes around. I found nothing there. Then I laid on my stomach, almost under the bed, and saw a loose floor board. I lifted it and reached it. I pulled out a black, leather, scrapbook and opened it. It was pictures of Big Time Rush, with my face scratched out. I found pictures of me and James, with my face cut out, and Logans put in, nude drawings of James, and pictures of me being violently tortured. Bored, I reached in again and pulled out some papers. It was announcements about creditors suing Doctor Michel Stavros, receipts for payments sent to Doctor Michel Stavros, and a 3 page paper entitled "Outline" I read it a loud.

"Ensure that James continue ECT until he no longer remembers anyone or anything, Convince him that he grew up in Los Angeles, not Minnesota, and make sure he doesn't remember anyone named Kendall."

What the fuck, I thought. Logan bribed the Doctor to continue shock therapy even though James was fine. I was so shocked I dropped everything, and fell to the floor. Logan hating me had nothing to do with my return, he hated me long before that because James loved me. I reached into the hole one more time, and finally found a little bag of pills. I gathered everything and took it to my room, where I found a bag to store it in. Now, I had to get to the hospital.

On the way out the door, I called a towncar, and then I dialed my sister.

"Kendall," she squealed, "I'm so happy to hear from you! What are you up to?"

"Katie," I said sternly, "I need you to drop everything and meet me at LAX now, it's a severe emergency."

"Oh my God," she cried, "Okay."

Katie ran toward me, and jumped into my arms, when she saw me. I could tell she had been crying, and I wiped away some of her tears.

"Katie," I smiled, "Don't cry, it's going to be fine."

"What's going on," she asked me, "I am so worried right now. I heard a report on the way over here that Carlos was in the hospital. Did someone do something to him?"

"Logan," I admitted, "He's gone psycho, and if you don't get out of here now, he will hurt you. This is all because he is obsessed with James."

"Since when," she cried, "He's always been all over Carlos."

"I guess that was just to pass time," I stated, "Look, I'm going to buy you a ticket to New York City. There will be a layover in Chicago, from there take a limo to Lake Forest. I have a friend who is expecting you."

"Okay," she sighed sadly, "When can I come back? I have a life, you know."

"Hopefully by the end of the week," I told her, "Let's go, I have to get you out of here before you get hurt."

Half an hour later, she was safely out of dodge and on a plane to Chicago. I took the town car to the hospital so I could put the rest of my plan into motion. It was time to take that psycho Logan down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Revenge**

* * *

James POV

_  
"_To be," I recited, "or not to be. That is the question. The blade was against my arm, but I felt unsure. I could kill myself, right now, or I could live and get my memory back and be happy. One part of me didn't see the point in living when I couldn't remember anything or anyone, and the other part was curious to find out if I could ever remember. I put the blade away, and back in the drawer._

"_Another time," I smirked and exited the bathroom. I laid in my bed, waiting for my captor to return. I fell asleep before he did._

_  
The one person, besides my mother, that I remembered was Carlos. I remembered a funny, charming, hyperactive, and loyal person. He was the one person, as far I as knew, that was truly pure of heart. So how could this have happened to him? I placed my hand on my cheek, where Logan slapped me. It stung ever worse then it did yesterday, but there was nothing I could do about it. Logan now owned me, and controlled me, and I belonged to him now. I looked over at him, and his concern for Carlos. How real is that, I asked myself. He looked up at me, and saw me staring. Fear overwhelmed me, as he started walking towards me.

"Lets go home," he stated coldly, "There is nothing more that we can do."

"We can support our friend," I sneered just as coldly, "and you are more than welcome to leave if you want."

"Fine," he sighed, "At least walk me to the car."

He took my arm, and began walking steadily out of the main corridor, towards the exit. Nurses, Doctors, and patients looked at us with concern.

"What's happening to us," he asked me once we had reached the parking lot, "We used to be best friends, and now you seem so angry."

"You hit me," I cried, "Did you expect me to be happy about it?"

"You deserved it," he droned in an emotionless voice. We reached his car, and I leaned up against the passenger side. The area seemed deserted, and endless. The sea of cars was closing in on me, and I was feeling claustrophobic. Logan edged closer to me, a wicked glint in his eye. He put his arms on either side of me, against the car. I felt trapped.

"This is because of Kendall," he was seething, "This is because you love him, and not me. Isn't it?"

"Of course not," I responded cautiously, "Logan you are the only one-" I was cut off by a swift fist to the stomach. I doubled over and gasped for breath. He grabbed my hair, and punched me in the jaw, then he threw me against the car, and turned me so my face was pressed against the glass. I knew was was next. He didn't bother undoing my pants as he slid them down. A moment later, unbearable pain surged through my body as I felt his enormous dick rip into me, and pound as hard as he could. A minute later, he had finished and pulled out. I pulled my pants up, and felt hot wetness inside them.

"Just remember one thing," he breathed hard, "You are mine. No matter who you are with, or what you do, you will never be rid of me." He delivered one last blow to my stomach, and got in his car. I was left laying in the parking lot, alone. I was utterly alone.

_  
I had to throw away my favorite pair of jeans, and even a decent pair of 2xist trunks. They were covered in blood, and semen. My face was bloody, and bruised. My body didn't look any better. I stood completely naked in the bathroom of my bedroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I should have taken my medicine hours ago, but I decided it didn't matter anymore. A blinding pain exploded before my eyes, and I was instantly on the ground. I saw white, and then nothing.

"_You leave him alone," a blonde little boy growled at a fat five year old, "Or you'll deal with me." The bully instantly backed away. The blonde pulled the brunette boy off the ground and dusted him off._

"_Hi," a small little boy smiled, "I'm Kendall. Do you want to be my best friend?"_

"_Yeah," a frail boy exclaimed, "Lets go play!" One boy grabbed the other and off they went_

I screamed in agony, I couldn't move. Every part of my body hurt.

"_He's gone," I sobbed into Kendall's lap, "He just left me. How could he do this?"_

"_It's okay," Kendall whispered soothingly as he rubbed my back, "I'm here, and I won't ever leave."_

_We fell asleep in each other's arms, and I woke up knowing that I would never love anyone but him._

"Fuck," I screamed as the pain got worse. I knew I was going to die. I wanted to get up, and kill myself, but I couldn't move.

"_Damn it," my mother screamed into the phone, "You asshole! No!" I heard a loud pop come from the speaker, and my mother went completely beserk. She was sobbing so hard, and she dropped the phone and fell to the floor. She pounded her fists and screamed. I didn't know what had happened, but I knew I had to leave. I went upstairs, and forced myself to sleep. The next morning, I was told my father committed suicide._

The pain reached it's peak, and started to subside. I started getting my vision back, and my ability to move.

"_You love him," Logan sighed, "Don't you?"_

"_Yes," I replied apologetically. He just spent five minutes explaining his love for me, only to be met by my rejection. I felt so guilty that I almost lied, and told him I loved him but a part of me had hope that Kendall might love me._

I stood up, and all suicidal cravings were gone. I no longer wanted to die because at long last, I had a break through and my memory returned. I knew I was James David Diamond, born March 1st 1994 to Brooke and Jimmy Diamond. I grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota. My best friend as a child was Kendall, and I was always in love with him. My dad died, because he was bipolar, and Kendall comforted me. It was the first time I ever wanted to kiss him. I never had, or will ever have, romantic feelings for Logan. I only thought I did because I couldn't remember Kendall.

"I'm back," I smirked as mixed feelings of rage, and euphoria overwhelmed me. On top of remembering my past, I remembered every lie that Logan told me and I remembered that Dr. Stavros told me those lies as well. Who knew that all it would take to help me get a grip is getting raped by my pseudo boyfriend. Oh my God, I thought to myself. I had been raped.

I left the bathroom, and sat on my bed. I decided that, this time, I would deal with this head on. This new found strength was amazing, but was it enough to help me deal with everything that Logan had done? He abused me, physically and mentally. I felt unadulterated rage towards him, and I had to make him pay. I went to the bathroom, and grabbed the blade but this time it wasn't for me. I was going to kill Logan Mitchell.

_Chapter end_


	8. Chapter 8

Reuniting – Chapter 8

_Hello, again. It's me..with the next chapter in my story._

Kendall POV

I sat in the lobby of the Police station, the handcuffs digging into my arms. Fuck, I thought to myself. Then I started replaying the previous events of the day

4 Hours Earlier

_My sister was safe, and I was racing back to the Palmwoods to set everything up. Logan was finally going to pay for his evil deeds. Of course, it is typically the best laid plans that go awry._

_I arrived at the Palmwoods hotel roughly one hour after I dropped Katie off at the airport. I exited the town car, armed with the evidence against Logan. I had called the police, and Logan's parents, in the car ride over. I think the driver thought he was on some sort of reality show, because of the crazy accusations I made against Logan. I had just gotten off the phone with Dr. Stavros when the driver pulled into the Palmwoods parking lot. I made up a lie about James, and he said he would be right over. This was going to be easy, or so I thought._

_I opened the door, and walked into the living room. I decided to sit in the seat where Logan had been sitting when he threatened Katie. I thought it would be a cruel irony if I recreated the scene. Instead, James was sitting there with the most furious look on his face. He stood up and got really close to me._

"_Kendall," he said in an inquiring tone._

"_Yes," I responded. He slapped me hard across the face. I was in such a state of shock, I fell backwards._

"_You are the biggest jerk," he screamed, "How could you just leave like that? I get that you didn't love me, but damn, did you have to leave? You promised me that you never would!"_

"_You remember," I gasped._

"_I remember everything," he sneered, "and I am not happy. I didn't realize that so many people would take advantage of me."_

"_What do you mean," I cried, "I would never do that."_

"_You expect me to believe that you weren't in on whatever Logan was doing," he glared, "when you could have just as easily have told me that you and I have known each other longer than ever. You heard all the lies he told, and you didn't say a damn thing."_

"_I was afraid," I admitted, "You don't even begin to know everything he has done."_

"_I'll bet you don't either," he scoffed, "But he isn't here right now. You are, and you have to answer to some things. I remember what you said the night before you left, and that really hurt. Do you still hate me?"_

"_No," I tried to say as tears formed in my eyes, "I didn't mean anything I said to you that night, I was just really hurt and I was wrong, and stupid. I regret it all."_

"_I don't know if I believe you," James replied honestly, "You left, as though you didn't care that I wanted to end my life and you didn't come back for a whole year. Why did you come back, anyways?"_

"_My mother asked me to," I answered, "She thought I needed to come support Katie. I had this whole apology prepared, and then I found out about your memory loss. James, I am so sorry."_

"_I'm not sure that I give a damn," he snarled, "You have been acting like a douche for the past year, and I'm not sure that your apologies are good enough. Even when you did come back, you lied to me __and what the hell was up with that day at the pier? Did you think it was funny to lead me on like that, or did you actually want to hurt me?"_

"_I didn't mean to do anything," I pleaded, "I swear, James, I just wanted to spend the day with you. That's it."_

"_I still don't get why you lied to me," James intoned, "I never thought you, of all people, would lie to me."_

"_Logan told me I had to," I explained, "He said it was for your recovery and if I told the truth it might set you back. I was trying to protect you, but then-"_

"_You believed that," James exploded, "Are you a complete idiot?"_

"_Yes," I sighed, "I really am. James, please let me talk. Logan has done something really bad."_

"_Worse than raping me at the hospital," James revealed and I felt rage boil in my blood. I had to sit down to digest what he had just told me, "Look at me, Kendall. He beat me, and raped me, because he thought I was going to leave him."_

"_James," I whimpered, tears spilling over my eyes, "Oh God, James. I don't know what to say. I am so sorry for what he did." I wrapped my arms around him, and felt him melt into me._

"_It's okay," James tried to reassure me, "I'll talk to Dr. Stravos about it."_

"_No," I exclaimed, "You can't talk to him!"_

"_Why," James asked suspiciously, "He's my psychiatrist. I can trust him."_

"_Remember when I told you that you don't know all the things that Logan has done," I asked._

"_Yes," James responded._

"_You didn't need ECT treatment," I admitted, "Logan paid Dr. Stavros to do it so your memory could be messed with. He paid him to convince you that you and him had been lovers, and that you loved him. I have proof. There is reciepts, and payment notices. Logan kept all of this under his bed."_

_James looked like someone hit him with a car. He was shaking, and looked confused. I know that we were thinking the same thing; how could Logan do this? He had been our friend since childhood, and now it was like he was a completely different person. I wanted to feel sorry for Logan, and forgive him but raping James, and having his brain shocked was too much. His actions were evil, and inexcusable. I doubted that he was even sorry. James sat down on the couch, and put his head in his hands. I sat next to him, and put my arms around him. He looked at me, clearly confused by my actions. I smiled, knowing that this next part of our conversation had potential to end really well._

"_You looked confused," I smiled._

"_I am," he admitted, "I thought you couldn't stand me."_

"_I lied," I sighed, "that was the complete opposite of what I actually feel for you."_

"_Feel for me," he repeated stiffly, "What the hell do you mean, Kendall Knight?"_

"_I love you James," I smiled and began crying softly, "I love you so much, and I said those things because I thought you didn't love me. God, how I love you. Living without you, and leaving, was the most hellacious thing I have ever been through. I left because I couldn't forgive myself, not because I hated you. I love you, James Diamond, so much."_

"_I love you too," he said, and by this time we were both crying. I kissed him, for the first time, and it was like everything disappeared. His lips were soft, and perfect. He tasted like something that could __only be described as James, and I loved it. I felt his tongue tap my lips, and I parted them. Our tongues met, and we were like one. He leaned back, and I was on top of him. Our hands roamed each others backs, and our legs were entwined. He pulled away, and I felt my heart drop. Had I done something wrong?_

"_Wait," he doned, "I need to hear you say something."_

"_What," I asked, unsure._

"_Tell me you love me," he smiled_

"_I love you," I cooed, "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!"_

"_I love you too," he giggled, and crashed his lips hard into mine. He rolled me over, and this time he was on top of me. He kissed along my jawline, and then started sucking on my neck. I tried to contain myself, but I felt a moan escape my lips. James smirked, and grabbed my crotch. I jumped, at first. He rubbed it with his palm, and I could feel it growing hard._

"_James," I moaned, "We have to stop. Someone could see."_

"_Let them," he growled in a voice that made my dick throb. Before I knew it, my pants were off and he was deep throating me. My high-pitched moans of pleasure kept making him laugh, so I tried to repress them, but with his brilliant mouth work, it was not an easy task. Eventually, I just came, all over his face._

"_My turn," I asked hopefully._

"_Not yet," he laughed as he wiped his face off, "I still have to confront Logan, and if I get started with you I won't stop."_

"_Okay," I sighed, "but later..."_

"_Yes," he laughed, "Later you can fuck my brains out, but first we have to take care of that prick." I stood, and pulled my pants back on. It was a lot easier now that I didn't have a 9 inch missile protruding out of them. James kissed me, and tasted like my seed. It was oddly arousing._

"_So what does this mean," I asked, "You know I love you, and you love me. You have your memory back, and you know the truth about everything. Not to mention, Carlos is going to be fine! So, now what?"_

"_Everything is as normal as possible," he stated, "and now that we are all going to be fine, with the exception of Logan, I think that we could use some happy news. Since I was a little boy I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and that will never change."_

"_I've felt the same," I smiled, "I don't just love you, I love your soul. I love your essence. I love everything that makes you "you" and if it ever changed I would be heartbroken. Moreover, I belong to you now."_

"_So are we a couple," he asked through tears of joy._

"_No," I responded him, and his face fell, "To be a couple, there has to be two people involved, and I feel like we are one. I love you. Yes, you are my boyfriend, and life partner, but no we aren't a couple."_

"_I love you too," he responded, wiping his tears. We heard the door unlock, open, and then we heard footsteps. Logan appear from the front hallway._

"_I'm back," he glared furiously, "and not a minute too soon."_

CHAPTER END.


	9. Chapter 9

Rage – Chapter 9

_Here we are again, another day, another chapter. This is Logan's reaction to the events of the previous chapter._

Logan POV

I slammed the door behind me, and sauntered towards James and Kendall. I could feel my rage bubbling just beneath the surface. Kendall looked positively seething, but he didn't even begin to know what rage really was. James' face had an odd look on it. It was almost like-Oh my God, I thought to myself. He got his memory back. I felt nerves try to overwhelm me, but I remained calm.

"I think I missed quite the reunion," I smirked, "You two look positively flushed.

"Don't start," Kendall threatened, "We both know everything. James has his memory back."

"Let me handle this," James cut in, "Like he said, I know everything and it's time we settle this."

"I agree," I concurred, "We need to end this right now."

I paused for a moment before lunging for Kendall. He slammed hard on the floor, and I started choking him. I know this was all a bit extreme, but I was losing control. I felt James grab my hair, and pull me off Kendall. He yanked me up, and punched me. A blinding pain made me pause, and I felt another punch in my eye. I slumped to the floor.

Kendall ran to James, gasping for air. From the floor, I saw a glass vase on the table. It wasn't far away. I could grab it, and they wouldn't know. Kendall was checking James out, to see if he was okay, and I went for it. In one swift motion, I had the vase in my hand, and was on my feet. Kendall turned around, and I smashed the vase over his head. He was on the floor, in a mess of blood and glass. James looked terrified, and pissed. I slowly walked towards him, knowing my calm would freak him out even more.

"Now it's just me and you," I smiled, "and this is going to be fun."

"Logan," James cried, "why are you doing this? What happened to you to make you like this?"

"You happened," I growled, "You happened to me! You, with your stupid big brown eyes and your flirtiness and your prettiness. You drove me to this because you made me want you! I'll be you never stopped to think of the consequences of flirting with someone you don't love."

"Let me check Kendall," he pleaded, "He could be dying."

"Let him," I stated bluntly, "It's no less than you deserve for what you did to me."

"What I did to you," I repeated incredulously, "That's rich coming from the person who bribed a doctor into giving me ECT treatments, and who beat me, and raped me. You want to discuss grievances?"

"I did what I had to do," I exploded, "and you got what you deserved." My boiling rage was about to bubble up over the surface, and I could feel it about to explode. James kept glancing at Kendall, and back to me. I could tell he was going to try to help him. I should have been angry, but I was actually quite amused.

"We can end this now," he told me, "just leave town, and let me help Kendall and everything will be forgiven."

"I have no intention of going anywhere," I explained, "Not without you, at least. I told you that we are going to be together, and we are. You want to save your precious Kendall?"

"You know I do," He grumbled.

"Leave with me," I demanded, "and if you do, then Kendall will be safe." He looked like someone punched him in the gut.

"I'll kill myself," he retorted, "if anything happens to Kendall. Without him, I won't want to live."

"He won't die," I exclaimed, "I'll make sure he lives, and everyday that I don't have you I will torture him. Lets make love, James. Let's fuck right here, so that when he wakes up it's the first thing he sees."

"What the fuck," James exploded, "You really are crazy!"

"Take your god damn clothes off," I said and pulled out a small revolver from my back pocket, "or I swear I will end this now."

James' eyes widened in terror as I pointed the gun at Kendall. He hastened to remove his clothes. First his shirt, and then his jeans. I stood there, mesmerized, by his God-like beauty. James was pure sex, in his black trunks, and all he had to do was stand there. I saw diamond tears fall from his eyes, and I felt my dick shoot to full attention. I walked towards him, and put my hand on his perfectly formed pectoral. I was startled when one of his tears fell on my hand.

"Don't cry," I smiled, "You should have known that I was going to win. You didn't honestly think you could outsmart me did you?"

"Logan," he pleaded, "you win, and I am begging you. Please don't make me do this. I love Kendall, and I will do it if it will save him but please don't make me. If you love me at all."

"I don't," I sneered, "but I do want to get started before your lover wakes up and tries to stop our love making."

"As that what this is for you," he asked, "Are you doing this just because you're horny?"

"Not at all," I corrected, "I am doing this because you hurt me, and now I want to hurt you." To my surprise, he got redressed, and knelt down to tend to Kendall's bleeding head.

"Is that how you want to play this game," I asked. I trained the gun on him, and aimed right for him heard. He rose, and my gun followed. I heard loud knocking at the door, and an announcement that it was the Police. They ordered me to open the door, but I ignored them.

"We should let them in," James suggested, "they can help you."

"They aren't going to help me," I snarled, "You just want me locked up but that's not going to happen. If you move, I shoot."

The knocking got louder and louder, and I was losing concentration. Finally, I heard a battering ram plow into the door and then again and again and again and again until the door flew open. James didn't hesistate to run towards the Police, and I didn't hesitate to shoot. I felt the gun go off, I saw James twist sideways and fall, unconscious and bloody, to the floor.

_CHAPTER END_


	10. Chapter 10

Reveal - Chapter Ten

_The conclusion of Homecoming._

Kendall's point of view

_"In the case of The People vs. Logan Mitchell," the Judge officiated, "how do you find the Defendant?"_

_"Guilty," the juror responded._

One Year Later

The long limousine, black and shimmering, pulled to a gentle stop on the black, asphalt road. A uniformed chauffeur got out of the driver side, and walked back to the passenger door and opened it. Kendall Knight stepped out and smiled politely. The air was warm, and not humid. Minnesota was truly beautiful this time of year. The sky was pure pale blue for miles, and miles without a single touch of white Overheard, birds flew freely and proud. Kendall stared at the perfectly manicured grass, and felt a tinge of sadness. Headstones were in almost perfect rows, before him, and he began walking through them. As he passed each name, his mind began to ask questions about the unfamiliar names. Who had they been? How did they die? What happened to them after they died? Did their families recover? He compared what he thought they might have felt to what he felt. He did not feel good.

The tombstone was tall, and beautiful. It was black granite, and red roses surrounded it. Kendall knelt in front on it. A single tear escaped his green eye. He brushed it away.

"Hey there," he smiled, "It's been awhile. I don't know where you are, but I hope that it's heaven. I miss you so much, sometimes I think I won't ever feel good again. The last year was painful, and exhausting, but I feel better now. Thing's have finally slowed down. I think now, all I have to deal with is the shock of everything that happened.

"Logan and I were once very close friends. I just can't imagine what could have happened to the little five year old nerdy boy, that I used to know. What happened the boy who memorized a textbook, because he thought it was fun? He used to be so sweet and caring and kind, now he is just evil. I keep replaying his last words to me over and over again.

"_I know you hate me," I told him, "but I never thought that you would go after James."_

"_It was an accident," he replied with no emotion, "I never meant for James to get hurt."_

"_I don't believe that," I sneered, "Someone as intelligent as you doesn't have accidents. I will never get why someone as sweet as James had to suffer, and God is letting a freak like you live. I will never understand."_

"_For once we agree," Logan sighed, "It shouldn't have been James, it should have been you. I should have gone after you from the very beginning and, believe me, I will rectify that mistake. When I get out of here, and I will, you're next. Do you hear me? You're next."_

"He was so furious," Kendall said to the stone, "and evil. They tried him as an adult, and he was sentenced to life, with parole in 20 years. Seeing it was like watching a movie. I just couldn't believe it was happening. The crazy thing is; I think he is going to try and escape. He feels no remorse, only rage. I think he really needs mental help. What sane person tries to make another person look bipolar, and not to mention all the other horrible shit that he pulled. I don't think Carlos will ever recover. He told me that he purposefully drank the poison that Logan meant for me, but even still I think he is in love with Logan. I guess he sees something that nobody else will ever see again. Speaking of Carlos, he is totally fine. The drugs didn't do any permanent damage. He made a full recovery, and is now staring in a telenovela on MTV. It's actually doing really well. Katie came back to Los Angeles, and is starring in full feature film in between seasons for her show. She's become the hottest young star in California. I am so proud of her. Mom started managing her, and become the hottest manager in Hollywood! Things have gotten insane since we last talked.

"I'm missing you more than ever. Well, I guess I don't have anything else to tell you. I think you and I both know that there will never be a time when James David Diamond is not the love of my life."

Kendall kissed his hand, and placed it on the tombstone. He rose, brushed himself off, and walked back to the limousine. The driver opened the door, and Kendall got in. He heard the engine roar up, and the car lurch forward. He looked out the window, at the quiet Minnesota woods, and smiled. It would always be his home, but Los Angeles was the start of a new adventure. He felt a hand grab his, and he looked over.

"Hey you," he smiled.

"Hey," James smiled back, "Did you have a good talk with your Dad?"

"Yup," Kendall replied, "and now I can devote all my time to you!"

"I love you," James said as he kissed Kendall's hand.

"I love you too," Kendall said finally.

They drove away, thinking about their love, and how they were finally together. No more drama, and no more angst.

-The End-


End file.
